The Penis Game
by siriuslylowkey
Summary: A one-shot of James, Fred, Louis, and Molly in the library one afternoon, but one of them isn't in on the 'game' being played by the other three and minor chaos ensues. T for language (as title implies). Reviews would be greatly appreciated.


Molly looked up from her translations for ancient runes that were due in a few days, she had barely made a dent in the assignment. She knew those giggles, she usually partook in those giggles, but right now those giggles were making her absolutely furious. She looked at her best friends, and cousins, at the next table over.

"Are you three serious right now?"

"Well it is my middle name, love."

"Dammit James I am trying to do my work, what the hell is so bloody funny that you three need to be in the library where there are people who are actually trying to be productive? I know for a fact we didn't plan out a prank for today or in the library at all for that matter so if you could be so kind as to make yourselves scarce that would be great."

"Freddie boy would you like to do the honor of telling little Molls here what we're laughing at or do you want to Lou?"

Fred and Louis gave each other matching smiles and beckoned for Molly to move in close, it was a library after all. Finally Fred decided to let Molly in on the joke.

"Well Molly dear, we're playing a timeless little game, known for making people laugh in the most inappropriate of places, like this lovely library for example."

Louis chimed in next, "Yeah Molls, everyone loves this game, great for libraries, quidditch matches, the Great Hall during dinner, family gatherings, surely you know what we're getting at."

Molly grew red. "No. No, you are not playing the penis game in the library. I won't allow it. I am not getting kicked out and I am not going to be guilty by association when you three get thrown out either."

Now it was James' turn to bear the bad news to his cousin. "Well the problem is Molly, we aren't stopping until _somebody_ gets kicked out. We don't care who, it can be one of us or all of us, but somebody needs to for the game to end properly. So the word 'penis' must be said loud enough for somebody to get in trouble," James looked around dramatically, "who's it gonna be?"

"Guy's really, who's idea was it to play the game right now?" Molly asked.

Freddie beamed. "Mine of course, I have the least detentions against me this month and I'm feeling daring if you will."

If that was how they wanted to play it, Molly would happily oblige. Taking out one of Uncle George's voice changing chews, Molly unwrapped the bright orange sour candy, and saw the boys begin to panic. They all knew how these worked, by the time the sour coating wore off Molly will have decided which of them she was going to impersonate, the candy allowed her to take on the voice of anyone she had spoken to within the last ten minutes, so they were all at risk. She broke out into a broad grin that spelled trouble for her best friends. Trying to run was impossible, they would only draw more attention to themselves that way, they just had to hope that they weren't the one in trouble. What they didn't know is that she snuck three into her mouth at once. As she went back to her seat and put her nose in her ancient runes textbook, the boys heard the unthinkable.

"PENIS!"

They ran. They ran faster than they had ever run before, but they weren't fast enough, Madam Pince was already at the door blocking them.

"Such profane terms will not be spewed in my library is that understood?"

"Yes ma'am" the boys replied, hanging their heads, hoping for an easy punishment.

"As for your punishment, 10 points from Gryffindor, each, and a letter home to each of your parents about use of appropriate language in the building. Oh and don't think I can't see you snickering over there Miss Weasley. While I appreciate you trying to stop their disturbance of studies, you made the biggest distraction of all. 15 points from Ravenclaw for being a disruption. Now all four of you, out!"

Molly gathered up her scrolls and textbooks, thinking about how her plan backfired. At least she didn't have a letter going home to her parents and didn't lose as many points as the boys did. when she met the boys outside she saw them smirking.

"What's so funny? You guys just lost your house 30 points and are getting letters home."

"Oh Molls, don't you know better than to get us in trouble? There's a letter going home to dear old uncle Percy too, saying how you were just as much a part of this as we were." Louis declared.

"If my father hears about this, your parents will know about anything that goes on in this castle that I choose to tell them. I am not above blackmail, and I won't let you three in on what I decide to share with them, because you must remember boys, any trouble I've gotten into, you get into more. I'll know your answers when the howlers from home come, if I get one, a personalized list for each of you is going to your parents about your recent detentions, choose wisely."

And with that Molly walked back to Ravenclaw Tower, to go put away her homework and get ready for supper; there was a long night of translations ahead of her.

Two mornings later three howlers arrived at Gryffindor table for James, Fred, and Louis. One never arrived for Molly.


End file.
